Extract from The Will to Consciousness
To be willfully conscious is to accept that you stand alone before the infinity of your consciousness. The vast luminous spaces stretch out as far as the eyes can see. The realization that these spaces are a part of you can be staggering.
In overcoming my nothingness joyfully, I send a clear signal to the world. I tell it that, despite the absurdity of doomed life, and by extension mine as well, there is every reason to rejoice, for a part of me will survive in spite of everything. Against all odds, I am getting used to the idea of immortality; I dedicate myself to it without taking into account the opinion of my contemporaries, for this state of Being has nothing to do with them.
There is nothing now for me but to maintain a permanent center of gravity inside myself that will survive me as a person. I pour all the strength of my intelligence into it and try to surround myself with individuals who, like me, are obsessed with this idea. I endeavor to keep this key word at the center of my consciousness: permanence. And the more I think about it the more I appreciate the solitude.
To live in a willfully conscious way means integrating your human nature on a higher plane without suppressing it. It consists in juxtaposing your person with your Being in order to have access to infinite knowledge, to infinite manifestation, while remaining in the world. With discernment, you can remain focused on the essential. I delight in my self by satisfying as many of its desires as possible, while remaining constantly aware of my divine nature. I have to be bold to assert that I am the Living God. But I don’t give weight to the moral judgment of others, so that I can invest myself entirely in my own consciousness. Nor do I expect to be understood. I am content to Be with an intensity that will still radiate hundreds of years from now.
Joy is essential to living in a willfully conscious way. Being permanently happy is an absolute state where the individual is aware there is nothing to do to improve the world, perfect as it is at the moment when it is perceived. In this peaceful state it is possible to be willfully conscious because the self is not perturbed by insignificant details, which, though still perceived, no longer monopolize the individual to the point of distracting him from the essential. Problems that seem terribly urgent to the majority are greeted with an indifferent shrug. It is not that the willfully conscious being has no compassion, but rather that the perspective he has of the world is so vast that for him it is clear that all answers are contained in the questions.
Being lastingly joyful facilitates clarity because unnecessary worries are eliminated. It is sometimes good and healthy to worry about important things, but the one who has learned to live in a willfully conscious way has trained himself to quickly regain surface calm without ever losing his profound serenity. The anchor he has cast grounds him firmly in his Being. Even if his dinghy pitches dangerously, the dominant aspect of what he is remains seated on the fine soft sand of the depths where no tide can disturb it.
When I look at my life in its entirety, I cannot help but notice the lengths I went to maintain the state of an attentive observer. I cannot say I always lived in the willfully conscious way I do now, but it’s clear that everything in my personality lead me inexorably towards becoming a willfully conscious being. My artistic nature means I have always been a keen observer of the world. I often preferred not to take part in it so as to have the joy of observing it. I analyzed it, this world; I studied it under the microscope before deciding to participate in it. It is only now that I really feel part of it. I did not enter the job market until I was thirty-five years old because I saw no interest in it other than to satisfy the need for money, which I had found a way to do without having to work, anyway. But at one point I realized that to live my human life to the fullest, I would have to take part as much as possible in the customs of my time. This has led me to meet extraordinary people with whom I forged bonds of friendship. Like a yogi, one can observe the world and renounce it, or one can choose to participate in it consciously, like a bhogi, using the experience to make firm the awakened state. By constantly running up against the limits of this world and the people who constitute it, I reinforce my ability to keep my attention fixed on the essential. This is what I call living in a willfully conscious way.
Those who already have a good sense of observation already possess an essential quality that, if developed assiduously, can help them develop the capacity to live in a willfully conscious way. They must, of course, be totally obsessed with this desire, that nothing and no one can distract them from it. Only then can they make use of this aptitude to lead them to enlightenment… something that is practically impossible to attain on this planet.
I’m an artist right down to my fingertips, and it has made me a keen observer of the world. I remember how obsessed I was with this when I moved to Montreal and started my adult life. I spent my days filling my notebooks with sketches and I used the best ones to create giant drawings that I pasted on my walls. I also incorporated them in my comics by surrendering myself to all the fantasies that my unbridled imagination offered me. I had the sincere impression that I was finally Seeing the world as it is. I no longer had to toe the line at school and I promised myself I would attain freedom at all costs. I dare say that I succeeded because today a sense of freedom fills me. I looked at the world with such intensity that I captured its essence. I applied all my talents to express it: drawing, music, poetry and writing. I believe I captured this essence in my art. And little by little, as I awoke spiritually, I applied this artistic penchant to higher planes. Today I truly have the sense that I look at the world through the eyes of the Living God.
Extract from The Will to Consciousness