Extract from The Will to Consciousness
The willfully conscious individual generally faces a complete lack of understanding from his contemporaries. In order to survive the awakening he must dissociate himself from the mass of the unconscious who waste their time working like beasts of burden for a few mouthfuls of bread. I lived a long time without working and I’m doing very well. Work uses one up and distracts from Being. To think, you must have time. He who devotes himself to consciousness knows this well and minimizes his ambitions to ensure they do not distract him from what is permanent. It is this part of me that I cherish. I cannot get enough of it because it is through it that I enter the absolute even though I am still in the relative.
The willfully conscious individual has mastered his fears… not that fear is no longer there, or that he no longer observes it inside, but rather that it no longer has the power to disturb him. He who is frightened by the unknown is still controlled by his animal nature. His hormones distract him from where he should be. I still feel fear sometimes, but I do not let it dominate me. I do not scamper away like a rabbit; I listen to my Being instead. I seek out the signs, the suggestions from the invisible. I allow myself to think and ultimately I win out, even if at the moment everything seems lost. Every problem contains its own solution. And if I panic and let adrenaline make me deaf, I will miss the solution, in all its simplicity, which lies at the very heart of the problem.
I have unleashed an inexhaustible source of energy in me and I let it grow. It is my Being that I freed, like a sleeping God. I feel carried by this source that springs from me and manifests in the world. Its vitality astounds me. I long felt the existence in me of an entire universe that sparkled with vitality, but today I feel differently. When I experienced the realization that the universe is simultaneously in me and that I am the universe, I crystallized my permanent center of gravity. One cannot forget such an experience. It is the most tangible teaching of non-duality. Only then did I understand the true meaning of Yin and Yang. The source springs from me and at the same time I am this very infinite source of light. This realization makes me fully conscious that I am not just my self. It is impossible for me to feel limited because I carry the absolute in me. Through this light I live in permanent clarity.
By being willfully conscious, I am better able to seize the beneficial opportunities that come to me, and avoid those that are not. It is as if a radar keeps me constantly informed of the intentions of those around me and of events that could have an impact on my life. For me, it is especially clear thanks to the attention I pay to my dreams. I often guess in advance what a person intends to do. At their clearest, the signs are so easy to interpret that I cannot but notice how important things are always announced to me. I see one prepare to hurt me and another intensely desiring me. I don’t usually have to wait long before my intuition is confirmed. I find this very gratifying. I feel that if I remain attentive, I will never be caught unawares.
I think well of my self. I understand that my person is what matters most because through it I perceive the world. It is therefore by loving it out of all proportion, by taking care of it and by nurturing it intelligently that I place myself in the best position to appreciate the willfully conscious life. I prefer myself over anyone. If the thought of doing something does not excite me, it is unlikely that I will do it because I have dedicated myself to thinking everything through ahead of time. I usually arrive early to my appointments in order to get a feel for a place and give myself time to harmonize with it before others arrive. By thinking of everything ahead of time, I am less likely to be taken advantage of. I do not get involved in a relationship unless I feel that the other person will respect my freedom.
To think well of yourself means knowing how to truly enjoy yourself. I deliberately add the word “truly” because I have noticed that most people have a preconceived idea of what might make them happy, but don’t give themselves what they really want. How many people spend extraordinary amounts of money on trips, while deep down, their most cherished desire is simply to write a book or carry out a project that is close to their heart? They live friendly or loving relationships with people who do not truly care for them. They give up their own dreams to please others. At the end of their lives, these people are dissatisfied. Every day I make sure I’m on the right track… my track. I, too, must now work to earn money. I do not really have a choice, but fundamentally, I have not yet compromised. I organized myself to be able to work from home because that’s where I feel the best and I’m the most productive. If I get tired, I take a nap and continue my work when I have the energy. It seems so simple and yet I know few who do as I do. They can talk about it, find the idea enticing, but when it comes time to take action, they will opt for a full-time company job that will force them to work on a fixed schedule. These people have clearly forgotten what is essential.
To live in a willfully conscious manner on this planet is no small task. Humans are, as a whole, too ignorant to even grasp this concept. It makes things complicated at times, which is why I choose the most accurate words to describe my state of being and my actions.
He who lives in a willfully conscious manner has a very intense vibration, which can make others feel uncomfortable or even upset. You have to see it to believe it. By dint of disconcerting people, I learned to stay in my center and leave it as rarely as possible. I learned to let them come to me. To seduce means to attract, not invade. I therefore arrange, whenever possible, to invite people to my house; seldom will I go to parties if I feel I will be the only one there consciously alive. This is for my own safety… but especially for that of others.
Extract from The Will to Consciousness