Extract from The Will to Consciousness
The willfully conscious life means knowing how to observe the world carefully in order to remain unflinchingly focused on the essential. It can be practiced through observational drawing because it requires entering a state that closely resembles that of the Observer. Like the Buddha who fixes his inner gaze on what is most subtle in him, the artist learns through the practice of his art to detect the slightest subtlety of form, color and texture in order to render it truthfully in his art. It is not easy for one who lacks patience. For one with self-control, though, the rewards come quickly. When he draws from his imagination, his characters are portrayed better, his landscapes are more balanced and the perspective is right. Should he explore abstract art, his lines and colors will be in perfect harmony, and the work will be perfectly balanced as a whole even if at first glance it seems to be pure chaos. Few understand that to make abstract art it is first necessary to master figurative art. Likewise, to be a master of the absolute, you must first master the relative. To live in a willfully conscious manner you must accept your self and love it unconditionally, and from this sturdy foundation explore the absolute, carefree.
There are so few sentient beings living in a willfully conscious manner on this planet that it is clear that I can only speak about my personal experience. My art played a catalytic role in activating the immutable in me. Everything happened smoothly, effortlessly. I have always been very inspired and this inspiration bestows on me an astonishing velocity. I let myself be carried by this wave which, more often than not, brings me to where I need to be. When I am asked for advice about conscious life, I always answer, “Follow your bliss.” This is what I have always done, and it has taken me to the very heart of my self. My experience has confirmed what I knew intuitively and what I understood intellectually: it is by following my natural predisposition that I have the best chance of being happy, because only in doing so do I sate my desires. I bring to fruition every project I undertake and then move on to something else without a second thought. In that moment I am satisfied with my life. I know I have done all that is humanly possible to be in harmony with what I have set out to be in this life. This makes me a free being, and therefore very dangerous.
It is common today to say that we are all equal, that we all have a soul and a spirit. Personally, I don’t believe it. This levelling down is an insult to intelligence and diametrically opposed to individuation, which is the foundational principle of conscious life. A willfully conscious individual does not wonder what others think. Morality polices thought and its aim is to homogenize us in order to prevent us from accessing consciousness, freedom and happiness. I cannot compare myself to anyone else because I am unique. All resemblance is only superficial and to dwell on it is the purview of the unconscious masses. By drawing inspiration directly from the source of my Being, I have access to infinite knowledge. The source is in me and I nurture it consciously so that, in turn, it nourishes me with the absolute that I so need to keep my balance. I am equal to no one. Those who try to put me in a mold to better understand me miss the point. I am an exception because I have nothing left to lose. In conscious life, death is no longer an option. I want to be irreducible, ungovernable and violently singular.
In terms of intelligence, talent and potential, we are all very different, and that very difference can enable us to assert our individuality. Since enlightenment happens through the self, it is impossible for one who forgets his self constantly to awaken. One must definitely be an immoralist in order to live in a willfully conscious way. Morality is mediocre, ordinary and tasteless, whereas ethics are personal, original and permanent. Only the one who has developed a personal set of ethics can, and dares, think for himself. This is unfortunately not the norm on this planet, but from where I stand now, it does not matter anymore. Conformity makes me sick. The mass of people who unquestioningly accept the programming of the manipulative plutocratic system are dead and have not yet begun to act willfully. Without necessarily believing myself superior to all those who are asleep, I know that I am radically different from them at the level of my essence. And yet, at the level of my Being, I am not separate from them and I incorporate them into the immensity of what I Am. Conscious life is violently repressed on this planet. He who pursues it will find himself constrained and opposed from all sides. But if he follows his Being without hesitation, he will eventually place himself under the law of exception. So few people get this far that it is more realistic to say that it is impossible to attain on Earth. At least like this all hope is quashed.
Utmost despair leads inexorably towards enlightenment. Only one who has lost all hope lives in the here and now. He has given up trying to improve himself because he understands that the world is perfect. He can thus truly appreciate the present moment, taste it shamelessly, because for him, only the primordial ever-present exists. I am talking here about a blissful despair that has nothing to do with depression. I know despair, for in my heart I have stopped hoping. I am established in paradise here and now and I intend to stay there.
Last night I saw flashes of white light in a dream. White light is the ultimate experience, and the fact that I experienced it, even briefly, demonstrates to me that writing a book such as this can only enhance this state which defines me. I feel a sublime clarity in me. I sense telepathically those who think of me, in real time. I also see that everything in my life has its place, that nothing is left to chance. And because I feel such harmony I am able to experience this white light which emanates from deep inside me. I feel it in every pore of my skin. I am willfully conscious. I stand tall even though hardly anyone sees me for what I Am. The effort I put forth to live in a willfully conscious manner shaped in me a permanent center of gravity. It is marvelous, except that hardly anybody understands it. My clients are ignorant of the fact that they are dealing with a saint. Most of the time, it does not bother me. I play the game… because I must. But one day I will explode in the face of the world.
75 Being willfully conscious implies a risk factor the majority of humans are not willing to accept. The truth is often brutal and few seek it out on this planet. And yet, conscious life is the best option. I do not own anything; no car, no house, no RRSP. I will not have children. I do not expose my flank to those who would hurt me. I gamble everything on my creative work. The concept of “taking a vacation” seems absurd to me. When I have money, I invest it in my art. There is so much to do because I am consecrated, and yet everything happens inside me. I work in the realm of the permanent. All these people who spend their money on two-week trips to an exotic country seem ridiculous to me. They’d be better off investing in my art. They would then learn the true meaning of the word “vacation.”
Extract from The Will to Consciousness